Stepping Back and Paying it Forward

I'm sitting on my deck. At my house. My. House. Here's a few pictures of my serene view. My freshly washed laundry is whispering in the wind on my left. The birds are chirping with spring chipperness all around me. There's a pool party at a house somewhere off to my left. I can hear all the girls giggling and splashing excitedly now that school's out. The sun and clouds are alternating their intensities. For every minute of shadow I feel over me, another minute of pure heat and light is right behind it. Two cardinals are chasing each other through the spruce boughs in front of me, their smooth red wings peaking through the forest green as they play. And just now, a lone cardinal has come to the dogwood at my left and attempt to hold a very serious conversation with me. I have my bowl of fresh strawberries and mug of tea, both adorned with fresh mint from my abundant chocolate mint pot. Life is so good. I am home.

With the newness and revival of spring, came a new (and partially revived?) dwelling for us. Buying a house was great fun (and over far far too fast!). Moving to said house...well...everybody warned me. It was so much less enjoyable than I could have ever fathomed, and over far too slowly. But it's over now. We're home-owners, greatly indebted (literally), and so very grateful for the blessing of upacking, yardwork, maintenance, cleaning, and upkeep. We worked really hard for this house, as those who are closest to us know. We saved and saved and saved. Our first year of marriage was spent living a rather miserly life -- cheerfully (for the most part, I like to think) trying to make the best of our apartment, coupons, budget, and smoke-ridden belongings. Thrifting our way through, we were forever appreciative of all who offered us food, entertainment, money, or accouterments we otherwise would have had to do without. That said, post-house-buying, we're basically back in the hole for a time, and continue to remain grateful for the blessings others might choose to bestow. We do not take mooching (or its antithesis: giving) lightly. And here's the good news. We can now start to return the favor.

Sure, we're still not "rich" monetarily. Probably never will be. But now, at least we are able to be comfortable in a space that is our own. Now we can finally offer free rooms, food, and provisions to those in need. We can now "pay it forward." And we've been waiting for this opportunity since the moment we were married. This intention to minister to and bless others through our own blessings in life was a concept that Hubs and I had discussed (and gotten overly excited about) since I can even remember. We couldn't wait to get married and begin this endeavor together as a couple. Even through our apartment living, we tried our hardest to minister the way we had always intended to, but we both felt thwarted by our own circumstances. Now, in a home, we're feeling freedom. Freedom to minister extravagantly. Freedom to be bolder than ever. And a freedom I never expected to feel -- freedom to expand and evolve my trust in the Lord. As I seek to live intentionally, I see how God has brought us this house to further His own intentional plan for us. And I'm game for anything (I think...). I'm at least feeling open to all possibilities. We bought this house to USE it. We have riches and blessings to USE them. I can trust God with that. I have a bigger outlook now, and my trust extends even beyond the borders of what I can see. I hope it just keeps growing, uninhibited. I pray that it does. And I pray that this desire to have my heart and door always open never fades and only grows to consume me with love and passion and intentionality.

*~The Road goes ever on and on
Down from the door where it began,
Now far ahead the Road has gone,
And I must follow if I can,
Pursuing it with eager feet,
Until it joins some larger way
Where many path and errands meet.
And whither then? I cannot say.~*