Henry

This month has been so fun. Fall is here (fun!), birthdays abound (SO fun!), I've spent much quality time with friends (funfunfun!), AND we got a doggie (FUNNN!!!!!!!). Heeeere's Henry:


He's a mut. We think maybe German shepherd and beagle. He's 3 years old. He's only about 30lbs. If you know either my husband or myself AT ALL you know our penchant for large dogs, and you can understand how this size dog is a big stretch for us as pet owners. Too bad he's too cute to resist. He's very very smart, and has already proven to be a good hunting dog for small game. (Don't worry, he hasn't actually killed anything. I don't think he has the heart to. ;-) ) He sleeps in a little ball because he gets cold. Observe:


He adores rawhide bones bigger than his body. And he eats them with great fervor. Observe:


But overall, he's a delicate little thing. All his actions are gentle and meek, it seems. We're constantly laughing at his mannerisms. Like, how he'll stare you down and quietly whimper until you let him hop into your lap while you watch TV. Or, how he'll sweetly paw at the bed covers letting us know he wants to be snuggled in under them. His little face and sad eyes are so very hard to resist. But don't let them fool you! He barks like a big dog, and plays rough and tough with the best of them. Now, if only I could convince him that he's not a cat...

This summer has been a time of much self-evaluation and home-life evaluation for me. I haven't known what to blog about, because I haven't come to any "conclusions" or points I felt were worth sharing. Basically, God has been bringing many small challenges to the forefront of my life lately, and I haven't really known how to best respond, cope, or even interpret these challenges. My faith feels strange to me and distant. My calling feels unclear and unrealistic. My resources seem few and fleeting. My patience feels spent and unattainable. Besides being completely humbled and broken by my weaknesses, I've felt my spirit lifted by some amount of focus. My focus has centered around (big shocker) intentionality. It is about what I can control in my life right now in a healthy, Christ-centered way. So, to better expand the ministry Cam and I strive to exhibit through our life together, I began developing an arsenal. An arsenal of "good eats" for various occasions so as to reduce pre-planning in a pinch, reduce stress, and allow for personal interaction rather than hurried kitchen time with friends and family.

I feel more controlled, at ease, and capable of spontaneity with my army of deliciousness in place. When a family's in need of a meal, without hesitation I have a few good, portable, hearty ideas. When an unexpected guest pops in, I can offer a nutritious, down-home spread. When life gets ahead of us, I work late, or dinner is simply forgotten, I can reach for a homemade freezer meal instead of eating out. I wish I could be more adventuresome with food all the time. I wish I could spend hours each day and hundreds of dollars trying new techniques and recipes. But since circumstances don't allow for such indulgence, I've instead enjoyed the process of whittling down my masses of recipes into the most practical, tactical, cost-effective infantry I can muster:

Meals for Others~
Beef BBQ
Sausage and Cream Sauce
Baked Ziti

In-A-Pinch Foods~
Spaghetti of any kind
Bfast for dinner - eggs w/ veggies and toast
Rice and beans
Stir-fry w/ shrimp

Freezer Foods~
Carnitas meat
Pizza Rolls
Pancakes/Waffles/Muffins
Chili
Soups
Burritos
Some of the meals from the above catagories also work


This simple redoing of my food mentality hasn't fixed any of my immediate "problems," but it has gone a long way remove some stress from my life. It's just one baby step. I'm a little further in my journey. So, little by little, one travels far.

*~Well, sometimes my life
Just don't make sense at all
When the mountains look so big
And my faith just seems so small

So hold me Jesus, 'cause I'm shaking like a leaf
You have been King of my glory
Won't You be my Prince of Peace

And I wake up in the night and feel the dark
It's so hot inside my soul
I swear there must be blisters on my heart

Surrender don't come natural to me
I'd rather fight You for something
I don't really want
Than to take what You give that I need
And I've beat my head against so many walls
Now I'm falling down, I'm falling on my knees

And this Salvation Army band
Is playing this hymn
And Your grace rings out so deep
It makes my resistance seem so thin

You have been King of my glory
Won't You be my Prince of Peace*~

Stepping Back and Paying it Forward

I'm sitting on my deck. At my house. My. House. Here's a few pictures of my serene view. My freshly washed laundry is whispering in the wind on my left. The birds are chirping with spring chipperness all around me. There's a pool party at a house somewhere off to my left. I can hear all the girls giggling and splashing excitedly now that school's out. The sun and clouds are alternating their intensities. For every minute of shadow I feel over me, another minute of pure heat and light is right behind it. Two cardinals are chasing each other through the spruce boughs in front of me, their smooth red wings peaking through the forest green as they play. And just now, a lone cardinal has come to the dogwood at my left and attempt to hold a very serious conversation with me. I have my bowl of fresh strawberries and mug of tea, both adorned with fresh mint from my abundant chocolate mint pot. Life is so good. I am home.

With the newness and revival of spring, came a new (and partially revived?) dwelling for us. Buying a house was great fun (and over far far too fast!). Moving to said house...well...everybody warned me. It was so much less enjoyable than I could have ever fathomed, and over far too slowly. But it's over now. We're home-owners, greatly indebted (literally), and so very grateful for the blessing of upacking, yardwork, maintenance, cleaning, and upkeep. We worked really hard for this house, as those who are closest to us know. We saved and saved and saved. Our first year of marriage was spent living a rather miserly life -- cheerfully (for the most part, I like to think) trying to make the best of our apartment, coupons, budget, and smoke-ridden belongings. Thrifting our way through, we were forever appreciative of all who offered us food, entertainment, money, or accouterments we otherwise would have had to do without. That said, post-house-buying, we're basically back in the hole for a time, and continue to remain grateful for the blessings others might choose to bestow. We do not take mooching (or its antithesis: giving) lightly. And here's the good news. We can now start to return the favor.

Sure, we're still not "rich" monetarily. Probably never will be. But now, at least we are able to be comfortable in a space that is our own. Now we can finally offer free rooms, food, and provisions to those in need. We can now "pay it forward." And we've been waiting for this opportunity since the moment we were married. This intention to minister to and bless others through our own blessings in life was a concept that Hubs and I had discussed (and gotten overly excited about) since I can even remember. We couldn't wait to get married and begin this endeavor together as a couple. Even through our apartment living, we tried our hardest to minister the way we had always intended to, but we both felt thwarted by our own circumstances. Now, in a home, we're feeling freedom. Freedom to minister extravagantly. Freedom to be bolder than ever. And a freedom I never expected to feel -- freedom to expand and evolve my trust in the Lord. As I seek to live intentionally, I see how God has brought us this house to further His own intentional plan for us. And I'm game for anything (I think...). I'm at least feeling open to all possibilities. We bought this house to USE it. We have riches and blessings to USE them. I can trust God with that. I have a bigger outlook now, and my trust extends even beyond the borders of what I can see. I hope it just keeps growing, uninhibited. I pray that it does. And I pray that this desire to have my heart and door always open never fades and only grows to consume me with love and passion and intentionality.

*~The Road goes ever on and on
Down from the door where it began,
Now far ahead the Road has gone,
And I must follow if I can,
Pursuing it with eager feet,
Until it joins some larger way
Where many path and errands meet.
And whither then? I cannot say.~*