The holidays have officially worn me down. And they're not even over yet, technically. I'm sick, overwhelmed, and really didn't accomplish half of what I thought I could. Some of that is due to a family emergency in the beginning of the month. That set me back a week, and I guess I just never recovered. But being sick right now has forced me to just lay here (with disgusting floors, a pile of laundry, gifts all over, and a general feeling of disorganization) and think about what really matters. I feel so cliche saying it, but taking time to smell the roses is really what makes the difference many times. The dreariness of winter doesn't help my case, so it's even more crucial for me to find, and smell, the "roses" of life.

So, as disorganized and disgusting as it might get when life's overwhelming, I'm so grateful to have a "rose" of a house to take care of, to stay warm in, and to serve others with.

As crafty and stubborn as he can be, I love our little pup and all his quirks. Right now, this "rose" is curled up at my hip (half on top of me, of course), with his head on my keyboard, and his little eyes drooping because it's obviously time for an afternoon nap.

Even when the day to day gets, well, day to dayish, I have a partner and friend by my side whom I love with all my heart. Cameron makes my days extraordinary no matter what. He's the rose to my thorns. :)

My family has often been the cause of stress and dysfunction in my life, but they mean the world to me. They are a garden of roses, really, and when all the colors and scents are taken in, it can be overwhelmingly wonderful.

Some other "roses" that get me through each day: friends checking in, my coworkers, tea, great food, thoughts of the future, lists, chapstick, candles, wind chimes outside the backdoor, awesome slippers, and the "garden" goes on and on.

*~But he that dares not grasp the thorn
Should never crave the rose
~Anne Bronte~*

The Sure Cure

Fall is my favorite season. But then, all too quickly, my least favorite time of year hits as quickly and as forcefully as the gust of wind which knocks the last of the orange and red leaves off of our trees. I hate the transition between fall and winter. I call it "winterumn." It's like autumn and winter swirl together in a gust of frigid air and leaf dust and make my life miserable. It's an interim. It's blustery. It's dark. It's often wet. And it's just dreary in every way. All the color seems to be sucked out of the landscape. Just so, the life seems to be sucked out of me when I can't feel revived by nature. For me, the sure cure for the winterumn blues is to turn my attention to the flavors and smells I can create to lift my spirits. So, I cook. I bake. I by the spiciest smelling candles I can find. And I hunker down and consider the extra effort (and extra pounds) all for the sake of hibernation.

If you find yourself hibernating with me, you NEED to make these bluster-proof muffins as the ultimate tummy-comfort. They smell terrific baking. They are the moistest, most decadent muffins I've ever made. Even with the addition of some whole wheat flour, you can't even tell they're semi-healthy. I promise! They're perfect straight-up, with no need for butter or topping of any sort. Happy change of seasons, once again.

Chocolate Chip Zucchini Muffins:

ngredients:

1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour (I used half whole wheat flour) 3/4 cup sugar 1 teaspoon baking soda 1 teaspoon ground cinnamon 1/2 teaspoon salt 1 egg, lightly beaten 1/2 cup vegetable oil

1/4 cup milk 1 tablespoon lemon juice 1 teaspoon vanilla extract 1 cup shredded zucchini (I used 2c 'cause that's what I had on hand! Turned out REALLLLY moist....almost gooey, which we LOVED.) 1/4 cup semisweet chocolate chips (or more...hehe) 1/4 cup chopped walnuts

Directions:

1.

In a bowl, combine flour, sugar, baking soda, cinnamon and salt. Combine the egg, oil, milk, lemon juice and vanilla; mix well. Stir into dry ingredients just until moistened. Fold in zucchini, chocolate chips and walnuts. Fill greased or paper-lined muffin cups two-thirds full. Bake at 350 degrees F for 20-25 minutes or until muffins test done. Mine took a little longer, actually. Also makes GREAT mini-muffins.

Voila! Instant pick-me-up. The best anti-depressant I've found for winterumn! What helps you beat the winter blues?

The Latest and Greatest

Yesterday, I pulled off my first ever surprise party. I threw one for my dear Hubby's birthday, as he had never had a surprise party thrown for him. It was quite the Fiesta, for sure, as the theme was Mexican. It's his favorite food group, after all. ;) His local family and many of his closest friends made it out for the bash. The food all turned out deliciously. The games were a hoot. And, the best part was, he was legitimately surprised!

Today, I'm reveling (yes, reveling) in the aftermath. I've re-swept the house, done the dishes, started the wash pile of doom, torn down the decor, and even hand-scrubbed the kitchen floor. The dog is even wiped out. He went from the Mexican jumping bean of the party, to my little kidney bean (read: curled in a ball) on the top of the couch cushions. And it's enjoyable to me. It's a moment of pure balance. The fun, work, and pleasure of the weekend all produces satisfaction for me. It's rare I feel this way, so before I head back to work tomorrow, I'm reveling. Now, for some pictures! Enjoy.

Surprise!


Fiesta time!

Some of the decor.

Hardcore.

Guests.

Fun times, fun times!

Henry

This month has been so fun. Fall is here (fun!), birthdays abound (SO fun!), I've spent much quality time with friends (funfunfun!), AND we got a doggie (FUNNN!!!!!!!). Heeeere's Henry:


He's a mut. We think maybe German shepherd and beagle. He's 3 years old. He's only about 30lbs. If you know either my husband or myself AT ALL you know our penchant for large dogs, and you can understand how this size dog is a big stretch for us as pet owners. Too bad he's too cute to resist. He's very very smart, and has already proven to be a good hunting dog for small game. (Don't worry, he hasn't actually killed anything. I don't think he has the heart to. ;-) ) He sleeps in a little ball because he gets cold. Observe:


He adores rawhide bones bigger than his body. And he eats them with great fervor. Observe:


But overall, he's a delicate little thing. All his actions are gentle and meek, it seems. We're constantly laughing at his mannerisms. Like, how he'll stare you down and quietly whimper until you let him hop into your lap while you watch TV. Or, how he'll sweetly paw at the bed covers letting us know he wants to be snuggled in under them. His little face and sad eyes are so very hard to resist. But don't let them fool you! He barks like a big dog, and plays rough and tough with the best of them. Now, if only I could convince him that he's not a cat...

A Recipe Worth Trying

It's quick. It's super easy. It epitomizes Fall. And it's SO very delish! It's (*dundundun*) Butternut Squash Pasta! It is a recipe most definitely worth trying, so I'm going to share it here. I've adapted this particular recipe from http://thefrontierkitchen.com/ just to liven the flavors up a bit. Because lively food is what I'm all about. :)

Butternut Squash Pasta Amazingness:

Serves 4
~1 lb. pasta, preferably whole wheat (whole wheat penne worked GREAT for this!)
~2 cups roasted butternut squash (cut squash in half, place cut-side up on baking sheet. Drizzle w/ EVOO and sprinkle w/ salt and pepper. Roast in 350F oven for like 45-60min., until knife easily inserts into the flesh.)
~1 pint heavy cream (yes, you are required to use cream. Trust me, it's for your own good.)
~1/2 c. (or more!) freshly grated Parmesan cheese (and I like to throw in a few Tbsps of whatever other cheese I might have on hand, such as Cheddar or Jack. Makes things a little creamier and, of course, cheesier!)
~4 Tbsp. fresh basil, chopped
~1-2 cloves minced garlic
~sea salt and black pepper to taste

In a large pot of boiling water, cook pasta according to package directions. Meanwhile, in a food processor or blender, combine squash, cream, Parm/cheese, garlic, and 2 Tbsp. of the basil. Blend until creamy. Add salt and pepper to taste. Drain cooked pasta. Toss butternut squash sauce with pasta. Heat through. Garnish with remaining basil. Extra delish if you throw some grilled chicken and extra cheese on top!

SO easy, as you can see! Makes a great big batch, is SUPER hearty, and totally makes eating squash the best experience you'll ever have. Next time I make this, I might have to get a little rediculous and serve the butternut squash sauce over spaghetti squash. Look out!

I'm always on the look-out for quick and yummy Fall recipes. Feel free to share!

*~If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world. —J. R. R. Tolkien~*

This summer has been a time of much self-evaluation and home-life evaluation for me. I haven't known what to blog about, because I haven't come to any "conclusions" or points I felt were worth sharing. Basically, God has been bringing many small challenges to the forefront of my life lately, and I haven't really known how to best respond, cope, or even interpret these challenges. My faith feels strange to me and distant. My calling feels unclear and unrealistic. My resources seem few and fleeting. My patience feels spent and unattainable. Besides being completely humbled and broken by my weaknesses, I've felt my spirit lifted by some amount of focus. My focus has centered around (big shocker) intentionality. It is about what I can control in my life right now in a healthy, Christ-centered way. So, to better expand the ministry Cam and I strive to exhibit through our life together, I began developing an arsenal. An arsenal of "good eats" for various occasions so as to reduce pre-planning in a pinch, reduce stress, and allow for personal interaction rather than hurried kitchen time with friends and family.

I feel more controlled, at ease, and capable of spontaneity with my army of deliciousness in place. When a family's in need of a meal, without hesitation I have a few good, portable, hearty ideas. When an unexpected guest pops in, I can offer a nutritious, down-home spread. When life gets ahead of us, I work late, or dinner is simply forgotten, I can reach for a homemade freezer meal instead of eating out. I wish I could be more adventuresome with food all the time. I wish I could spend hours each day and hundreds of dollars trying new techniques and recipes. But since circumstances don't allow for such indulgence, I've instead enjoyed the process of whittling down my masses of recipes into the most practical, tactical, cost-effective infantry I can muster:

Meals for Others~
Beef BBQ
Sausage and Cream Sauce
Baked Ziti

In-A-Pinch Foods~
Spaghetti of any kind
Bfast for dinner - eggs w/ veggies and toast
Rice and beans
Stir-fry w/ shrimp

Freezer Foods~
Carnitas meat
Pizza Rolls
Pancakes/Waffles/Muffins
Chili
Soups
Burritos
Some of the meals from the above catagories also work


This simple redoing of my food mentality hasn't fixed any of my immediate "problems," but it has gone a long way remove some stress from my life. It's just one baby step. I'm a little further in my journey. So, little by little, one travels far.

*~Well, sometimes my life
Just don't make sense at all
When the mountains look so big
And my faith just seems so small

So hold me Jesus, 'cause I'm shaking like a leaf
You have been King of my glory
Won't You be my Prince of Peace

And I wake up in the night and feel the dark
It's so hot inside my soul
I swear there must be blisters on my heart

Surrender don't come natural to me
I'd rather fight You for something
I don't really want
Than to take what You give that I need
And I've beat my head against so many walls
Now I'm falling down, I'm falling on my knees

And this Salvation Army band
Is playing this hymn
And Your grace rings out so deep
It makes my resistance seem so thin

You have been King of my glory
Won't You be my Prince of Peace*~

Stepping Back and Paying it Forward

I'm sitting on my deck. At my house. My. House. Here's a few pictures of my serene view. My freshly washed laundry is whispering in the wind on my left. The birds are chirping with spring chipperness all around me. There's a pool party at a house somewhere off to my left. I can hear all the girls giggling and splashing excitedly now that school's out. The sun and clouds are alternating their intensities. For every minute of shadow I feel over me, another minute of pure heat and light is right behind it. Two cardinals are chasing each other through the spruce boughs in front of me, their smooth red wings peaking through the forest green as they play. And just now, a lone cardinal has come to the dogwood at my left and attempt to hold a very serious conversation with me. I have my bowl of fresh strawberries and mug of tea, both adorned with fresh mint from my abundant chocolate mint pot. Life is so good. I am home.

With the newness and revival of spring, came a new (and partially revived?) dwelling for us. Buying a house was great fun (and over far far too fast!). Moving to said house...well...everybody warned me. It was so much less enjoyable than I could have ever fathomed, and over far too slowly. But it's over now. We're home-owners, greatly indebted (literally), and so very grateful for the blessing of upacking, yardwork, maintenance, cleaning, and upkeep. We worked really hard for this house, as those who are closest to us know. We saved and saved and saved. Our first year of marriage was spent living a rather miserly life -- cheerfully (for the most part, I like to think) trying to make the best of our apartment, coupons, budget, and smoke-ridden belongings. Thrifting our way through, we were forever appreciative of all who offered us food, entertainment, money, or accouterments we otherwise would have had to do without. That said, post-house-buying, we're basically back in the hole for a time, and continue to remain grateful for the blessings others might choose to bestow. We do not take mooching (or its antithesis: giving) lightly. And here's the good news. We can now start to return the favor.

Sure, we're still not "rich" monetarily. Probably never will be. But now, at least we are able to be comfortable in a space that is our own. Now we can finally offer free rooms, food, and provisions to those in need. We can now "pay it forward." And we've been waiting for this opportunity since the moment we were married. This intention to minister to and bless others through our own blessings in life was a concept that Hubs and I had discussed (and gotten overly excited about) since I can even remember. We couldn't wait to get married and begin this endeavor together as a couple. Even through our apartment living, we tried our hardest to minister the way we had always intended to, but we both felt thwarted by our own circumstances. Now, in a home, we're feeling freedom. Freedom to minister extravagantly. Freedom to be bolder than ever. And a freedom I never expected to feel -- freedom to expand and evolve my trust in the Lord. As I seek to live intentionally, I see how God has brought us this house to further His own intentional plan for us. And I'm game for anything (I think...). I'm at least feeling open to all possibilities. We bought this house to USE it. We have riches and blessings to USE them. I can trust God with that. I have a bigger outlook now, and my trust extends even beyond the borders of what I can see. I hope it just keeps growing, uninhibited. I pray that it does. And I pray that this desire to have my heart and door always open never fades and only grows to consume me with love and passion and intentionality.

*~The Road goes ever on and on
Down from the door where it began,
Now far ahead the Road has gone,
And I must follow if I can,
Pursuing it with eager feet,
Until it joins some larger way
Where many path and errands meet.
And whither then? I cannot say.~*

Spring Fever

It's spring fever. That is what the name of it is. And when you've got it, you want - oh, you don't quite know what it is you do want, but it just fairly makes your heart ache, you want it so! ~Mark Twain

Mr. Twain knows how I feel lately. I long for road trips and adventures and fresh foods and perfumed flowers and my Bestie and things I don't even know I long for. All I know is I'm glad to see the drudgery of winter move on and the newness and splendor of spring commence. Each beautiful, sparkling, fragrant, bi-polar-weather day makes me want to sit on a patch of grass praising God...or run until I fall over....or drink a lot of frappes....oh, spring just makes me feel the way nothing else can. It's like the crescendo in the sonata of seasons. There's anticipation in air, even when you don't know exactly what you're anticipating.

I don't know about others out there, but springtime makes me feel more like changing and making "resolutions" than even New Years does. Part of my intention in 2010 was to have actual intention and balance in my life. I feel renewed to continue that pursuit as the seasons now change.

Also, change is happening in our lives. We'll be moving to our first house at the end of the month. I guess knowing that this big change is coming is making me want to maximize every moment of my life. I'm young, married, no kids, no immediate responsibilities -- I won't ever get this time in my life back, so why not be open to change, balance, experiences, and the Lord's leading?

I just stumbled across an online resource I plan to implement in my life immediately. It sums up a large part of what I've endeavored to do with my days as an intentional Christian woman. While this resource is geared towards moms, it totally applies to everyone. And it's free! Maybe it appeals to me because I'm a list-making freak, or maybe it just adds another layer of balance to my life, but whatever the case may be, it's undoubtedly another valuable resource and tool in my quest for simple, intentional, Christian living.

Said resource? inspiredtoaction.com Maximize Your Mornings eBook. Free PDF download. Not to mention, great blog overall (with many many inspirations) at inspiredtoaction.com. Check it out and consider how you might implement intentionality in your own life.


*~Finish each day and be done with it...You have done what you could; some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in. Forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; you shall begin it well and serenly. - Emerson~*

True Friends Are Always Together in Spirit

So much has been happening. I've been working night shifts, so the holidays were basically a blur. Fun, but over too quickly. Then, it was back to work and wedding prep in lieu of my best friend's wedding on Jan. 2, 2010. It was such a magical, sacred affair, yet also very bittersweet for many involved. See, Sarah Jane will be moving to the midwest where her husband's job is. For me, this is a huge change as she lived about 1/4 mile from my apartment and we spent over an entire year commuting to school, watching movies, romping around the West Shore, cooking, eating, talking, investigating, loving, and growing in friendship. Now, I must somehow find a way to adjust to her absence as I go about my days. And I'm really feeling alone lately...nothing's quite as enjoyable or fun without a companion. She was the "Anne" to my "Diana" as we often commented on and giggled about. Even if we didn't hang out every day, she was always right around the corner - a call away - and I knew it. And just knowing it was a comfort to me.

To Sarah Jane I owe my love of One Good Woman, loose leaf tea, sauteed sprouts, Dark Crystal, Cable Guy, The Ringer, CornerStone Coffee House, Boston Terriers, VS undies, Ho Wahs, Thai Palace, homemade Chai, and so many other life-changing wonders. She welcomed me with open arms to the West Shore. It's because of her I don't want to live anywhere else.

I couldn't be happier for Sarah Jane and Praveen. They're the most beautiful couple and a love them dearly. I'll hold onto the hope that they'll come back to Central PA someday and I won't pine for her company any more. :-)

In the mean time:

*~Farewell, my beloved friend...my heart will be ever faithful to thee. ~*